Wednesday, October 08, 2008

Open Letter to Crazy Southie Cat Lady

Dear Crazy Southie Cat Lady,


I apologize.

You were right.

I should not have thrown Rosie's poo in a tied up blue baggie into your garbage can, even when said garbage can was on the curb awaiting pickup moments later this morning.

It's your garbage can.  You own it and its possessions until they are whisked away.  Even though it's trash, it's still yours.  I get it.  And you didn't want any more garbage added to your stash, especially a bag of dog poo.

Never mind that the beauty of garbage day in Southie is that passersby can throw their losing lottery tickets, bottles, and frozen food boxes into a selection of trash cans rather than in the gutter or on the sidewalk where the litter ends up during the week.

I was wrong.

But, I do not appreciate your attitude.

It was entirely unnecessary to beep your massive SUV's horn at me.  Twice.  While I was inches away from your vehicle's hood.  Have you ever had a large SUV blow its horn into your ear?  Twice?  It's not fun.

I believe that simply exiting your car with a polite "I'm sorry, I would appreciate it if you threw that elsewhere" would have done the trick.  Kill 'em with kindness.  A statement such as that would have elicited no lip from me, and likely an apology.

But no.  Blaring horn.  Catty and bitchy tone.

While I believe that trash is trash, and the contents of the cans all end up in the landfill, apparently you believe your trash is better.  You didn't have to scream at me and rationalize why my trash was unfit to sit next to your trash.

When I removed said trash from the can and told you to have a nice day while I was walking away, you didn't have to continue yelling at me.  That wasn't very neighborly.  But apparently, neither is throwing away a bag of dog poo in someone else's can on trash morning.

When you said that you didn't throw away your cat's refuse in my cans, I did extend an olive branch to you and tell you that on trash morning you were more than welcome to do just that.

I apologize for throwing down the See You Next Thursday under my breath as I walked away.

Yes, it's a small bag of poo.  Yes, it was your can.  Yes, you happened to be right outside when I attempted to unload it.  Yes, I was wrong.

But, it's trash day.

Whatever.  Onward.  I could take the low road and have Rosie pee on the sidewalk outside of your home every day.  Or continue to throw away dog poo in your trash cans on Wednesday mornings when your gas guzzling ginormous SUV isn't there.

But I won't.

I cannot guarantee that I won't throw daggers your way if I see you walking by or when I'm passing your house.

Dirty looks are one thing.  Disregard is another.

I'll avoid disregard and just accept the fact in knowing that you do not want other people's small trash in your pristine trash bins.

Have a nice day, neighbor.

5 comments:

Kathy said...

WOW! She sounds like a trash snob!!

Here in the suburbs we have two guys that drive around to scope out the trash that is being thrown out and sometimes.....they take it away before the real trash guys show up! (scrap metal, yard sale remnants, other peoples junk... etc)

Clearly this woman has nothing else to worry about.

Anonymous said...

I'd honestly have no problem if you left the bag on my barrel before pickup, but I've had people throw bags of shit in the empty barrel before I get to take it in.........and then it rains.
If I saw you throw your bag in after I recently received a barrel full of dog shitty rain water, I doubt I'd be so tolerant.
PS Thanks for picking up.

Jason said...

Anonymous - good points, and I too would be peeved. My attempt, however, was most certainly mere moments before the truck was coming to pick up the waste.

Anonymous said...

Sounds like this woman needs to get on Prozac to rid herself of the bitchy attitude. It works wonders, believe me. And I think you should encourage Rosie to pee on her sidewalk.

NealG said...

When a trash barrel is on the sidewalk, it is in the public domain and anyone is free to use it (I'm pretty sure that there's case law that backs this up...). If she doesn't want anyone throwing trash in her barrels, she should keep them off public property.