Golden showers fill your eyes

*Disclaimer - Author has no intention of disparaging Southie, its inhabitants, their surroundings, their automobiles, their parking spot markers, or their furry creatures.

To: Older, public-urinating man
Fr: Jason
Re: Yesterday evening


I wanted to thank you for rendering me speechless after parking my car, turning off the ignition, turning off the lights, sitting there a brief moment longer to finish a phone conversation, and having the good fortune to watch you saunter up, prop yourself up against a chain-link fence, whip it out, and relieve yourself 6 feet in front of me, in my direction. The fully monty, brotha!

Whether you were too drunk to hold it or too old to care, your actions were a novel way to welcome me home after a long day of staring at a computer screen. For that, I thank you.

(n.b. / FYI - the title is a Beatles reference...well, a reconstituted Beatles reference)