I am a Pokerholic. There, I said it.
It's not all bad - over the course of my lifetime of playing (pretty much the past 3 or so years), my net winnings are definitely on the plus side. It's not like I am mortgaging my home, car, and Starbucks mugs. My teeth haven't rotted out from meth use. My liver is still healthy.
The down-swings, however, drive me nuts. In the poker world, they call it "being on tilt" if your play becomes a bit reckless after sufferring a "bad beat" or two. I try not to fall victim, but it's very difficult sometimes - for example, when your opponent has literally one card out of 44 unexposed cards which would cause him to win, and he catches it on that final "river" card. Ugh. That happened on Sunday. I hate "one outters" when I'm on the losing side.
Since the start of the new year, i switched on online No-Limit cash games. Not like the tournaments on ESPN, more like the structure of "High Stakes Poker" on GSN, minus the high stakes. $100 buy in to a table. I usually play 2 at the same time. Some nights, you grind out a $40 win, some nights you end up $300, some nights, down $200. Hopefully, in the long run, things end up positive on your side.
I said to myself if my bankroll ever hit 50% of its peak, it was time to cash out. That happened Sunday. This year, my $100 became $1,700, and ended at $893. So, still a win, and a good one at that, but with my record-keeping that friends have criticized, I learned my hourly take was around $8.00 an hour. Not bad for sitting in my recliner watching Planet Earth on Discover HD. But once you're up there flirting with 20x your buy-in, you begin to feel invincible.
Now that Spring is here, and it's lighter later, and it's warmer in Boston, it's time to make the formerly fat jeans less tight, read more, resume my Spanish classes, and not obsess about hiting my flush draws every night.
This is just like my revelation playing golf my senior year in college. I'm not very good at the game. Sometimes shots are incredible, sometimes my Approach Wedge works like magic, sometimes my Putting is on. But never does my entire game come together, and I end up around 100-110 for a round of 18 with my method of scoring (no penalty strokes, hole max 8, winter rules all year, reloading off the tee is OK, etc). Once I decided in my head that I wasn't going to be shooting in the 70's, and I wouldn't get better at golf unless I took lessons, practiced a ton, and devoted lots of time and money to my progress, I relaxed and had fun playing. Now, I don't really worry about my score, and my enjoyment of playing golf has skyrocketed.
I need to do the same thing about poker. I'm not going to become a pro. It won't pay for a down payment on my dream home. But, it's still fun, and playing with moderation will make me less irritated during the bankroll swings.
Ahora, yo regreso aprendiendo mi Espanol.
It's not all bad - over the course of my lifetime of playing (pretty much the past 3 or so years), my net winnings are definitely on the plus side. It's not like I am mortgaging my home, car, and Starbucks mugs. My teeth haven't rotted out from meth use. My liver is still healthy.
The down-swings, however, drive me nuts. In the poker world, they call it "being on tilt" if your play becomes a bit reckless after sufferring a "bad beat" or two. I try not to fall victim, but it's very difficult sometimes - for example, when your opponent has literally one card out of 44 unexposed cards which would cause him to win, and he catches it on that final "river" card. Ugh. That happened on Sunday. I hate "one outters" when I'm on the losing side.
Since the start of the new year, i switched on online No-Limit cash games. Not like the tournaments on ESPN, more like the structure of "High Stakes Poker" on GSN, minus the high stakes. $100 buy in to a table. I usually play 2 at the same time. Some nights, you grind out a $40 win, some nights you end up $300, some nights, down $200. Hopefully, in the long run, things end up positive on your side.
I said to myself if my bankroll ever hit 50% of its peak, it was time to cash out. That happened Sunday. This year, my $100 became $1,700, and ended at $893. So, still a win, and a good one at that, but with my record-keeping that friends have criticized, I learned my hourly take was around $8.00 an hour. Not bad for sitting in my recliner watching Planet Earth on Discover HD. But once you're up there flirting with 20x your buy-in, you begin to feel invincible.
Now that Spring is here, and it's lighter later, and it's warmer in Boston, it's time to make the formerly fat jeans less tight, read more, resume my Spanish classes, and not obsess about hiting my flush draws every night.
This is just like my revelation playing golf my senior year in college. I'm not very good at the game. Sometimes shots are incredible, sometimes my Approach Wedge works like magic, sometimes my Putting is on. But never does my entire game come together, and I end up around 100-110 for a round of 18 with my method of scoring (no penalty strokes, hole max 8, winter rules all year, reloading off the tee is OK, etc). Once I decided in my head that I wasn't going to be shooting in the 70's, and I wouldn't get better at golf unless I took lessons, practiced a ton, and devoted lots of time and money to my progress, I relaxed and had fun playing. Now, I don't really worry about my score, and my enjoyment of playing golf has skyrocketed.
I need to do the same thing about poker. I'm not going to become a pro. It won't pay for a down payment on my dream home. But, it's still fun, and playing with moderation will make me less irritated during the bankroll swings.
Ahora, yo regreso aprendiendo mi Espanol.
1 comment:
Dear Jason,
Much proud of you I am. I vow to keep you accountable.
Jamen
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